MIA and my 2019 plans

*Warning – some phrases in this post may be a trigger for some people*

So some of you have noticed l have fallen off the edges of the earth, not posting anywhere on the positiveshores social sites. I am still here working behind the scenes, but not as hard as l could be, l come in and add a few sentences to a number of drafts l have going on when l feel inspired, I have had my butt seriously kicked at work the past few month or so. It is all about finding the balance and l haven’t quite mastered it yet. It’s all a learning process l guess.

I have been having an ongoing battle in my own head, about this blogging/website stuff. As in is this the best platform to get my message across about mental health, finding your own passion and leading the best version of yourself. lAs it is only new and l am still finding my feet with it all and finding balance between work, homeschooling, being a wife, mother, friend, sister the list goes on.

my balancing act didn’t look as graceful as this pic

Last month a had an old school friend who’s husband’s demons got the better of him and he took his own life, and how easily these demons can claim a number of people off the top of my head. So after many tears and holding my loved ones that little bit tighter over the past fews weeks and almost loosing it when ever my find would post a heart felt post about how amazing her (now) late husband was. Then to learn of a family member’s near tragedy and fearing for the life of their loved one. All this emotional turmoil was playing havoc with my mind and then the mind games began with the “if l only”, “What if”. I started to go onto auto  pilot while mentally trying to “fix” the situations that other people had going on. I had to step back and let people live their lives and put in my advice when asked for. I can to the realisation that l can’t save EVERYONE, but i l can get one person a day to stop and think and implement just one thing l suggest my job is done.

 You can’t save people, you can just love them

-AnÏs Nin

So l sat down and after falling down the 2019 planning/ organising rabbit hole on Youtube and came to the conclusion. I still love goal setting, l love helping people set and accomplish their goals no matter the significance in my world. I love helping people find their own passions in life and see them flourish and grow within that passion.

 SO…….

My plan for 2019 is to connect with as many people as possible, if l help a handful thats fantastic, if not so be it. I plan to post more frequently with more content and grow this page in the coming year, so l can serve people to the best of my ability so they can become the best versions of themselves, there are probably some more goals l can think of but not at the moment as l hear the kids raiding the fridge, ha teenagers

till next time

Positiveshores xx

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Advertisements

Self care and self love

Do you ever get to the point of a break down at work, home, anywhere. I can honestly hand on my heart say l have been there. It’s not a pleasant place to be, as anyone who has been there can agree. If you have never been in that position it feels like utter hopelessness, no matter what you do nothing helps your mood. I call it spiralling into blackness or as a one of my co workers calls it ” circling the toilet” (not a pretty picture is it)

How did l get to that place?

Well…….

I was working at my current employment. I was working 20 hours a week part – time, as l have children who are homeschooled. I was pulled out of class one day when l working with my one on one student and was told that they had over spent on the funding for that particular student, l was to go home. With the loss of these hours l went down to 6, YES!!!!….. 6 hours a week. I was dumbfounded and devastated. I started to internalise every move l made, and the moves of others at work. This went on for weeks, l would speak to other people who had also lost hours, no one else had lost the amount of hours l had lost. CRAZY internalisation on my behalf to the point of not wanting to get out of bed (just side note if any of you get to the that point please please please make an appointment with a health professional), dragging my butt to work wondering is it all worth it. It was only when one of my fabulous co – workers stepped in and said these words “you have to look after you, go and do what is best for you”. the next day l called in “sick” to work and took a personal day or as l like to call them mental health days.

I spent the next day focusing on myself and myself only with what makes me happy, what brightens to my soul. I also made a plan to know my triggers.

You don’t have to spend just one day on your own self-care, make it daily and fit it into your daily routine.

  • Cleanse, tone and moisturise your face twice a day.
  • Strap on your kicks and walk the block or if your feeling adventurous (like me lately) a run.
  • Draw/doodle/ sketch
  • Journal
  • sit and veg in front of Netflix for the day watching your favourite movie/ TV show
  • Bake that cake
  • Order pizza, dress you have been eyeing online or book from your favourite author

What ever makes you happy!!!!!

I was recently going through some old journals of mine and came across a self-care/self-love page l did (excuse the messy handwriting), I still practice most of these throughout the week plus my handwriting.

20181015_1447133065784601599665682.jpg

 

I highly encourage all of you to create your own list for self-care/self-love. Start with a list of 10 items and gradually over time expand on these items.

As that last quotes says You are worth it!!!

 

I would love to see what you all come up with

 

Until next time

 

Positiveshores xx

art business close up decor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Support team

On any journey whether it is weight loss, self discovery, mental health or spiritual. Having a support team or a group of cheerleaders on your side with words of endless encouragement is important.

And no l don’t mean the young ladies standing on the sidelines of football games shouting “go team go”. I am talking about supportive people (whether that is friends, family, co – workers) in your life that always have words of encouragement and cheer you on. I recently discovered how important a cheer team is when after almost 4 1/2 years of restrictive exercise after badly breaking my leg l had the confidence and energy to jog (or in my case a slow shuffle) and the whole entire time my daughters were cheering me on, the entire 100 metres (109 yards) made me feel so ecstatic, more confident in achieving such a small goal.

shallow focus photography of girl clapping
Photo by kendall hoopes on Pexels.com

If my daughters could make me feel like this , imagine how you could feel when another adult cheers you on. Somewhere along the way since we were children some of us forgot how to cheer each other one instead negativity took over and we tear one and other apart for various thing like wearing certain clothes, having certain jobs, getting promotions before you etc.,put your jealousy and pride aside and be happy for the other person.The more we cheer each other on the happier we would become, seeing other people’s faces light up when given a compliment when they least expect it.

photo of woman looking at the mirror
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

Surround yourself with positive/ like-minded  people who will life you up rather than drag you down and sap every last bit of precious energy from you body with negativity. Create a positive space whether that is a journal, a physical space in your house or out in public where you be humble with your achievements and progress not how significant they may seem to everyone else.

Tell me about your support team, how do they support you in their own special ways?

 

Until next time

 

Positiveshores xxxx

art business close up decor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Getting your thoughts organised

If you are like me, you live to much in your head. You have so many lists and to-do jobs in there. Or maybe you are trying to justify your next career move. Getting it all out of your head and onto paper is a great way to sift through your jumbled thoughts. Once l learnt to do this it became second nature. I call them brain dumps, as this ridiculous names suggests you essentially dump what ever is on your brain out. Some people create lists, l create mind maps of sorts as l am more visual. These mind maps or lists (what ever you prefer) can consist but not limited to to – do lists, monthly reminders, recipes to try, books to read, places to explore, mental health, cleaning schedules, events, shopping lists, wish lists etc.

Here is one l made a few years ago when l was struggling mentally when l felt lost in my direction. I was studying a diploma and felt it was pulling in a direction l was unhappy about, l felt l had more to give in terms of the course than a 9 -5 sitting behind a desk job. Needless to say l left that diploma to focus on my youth mentoring, teacher aiding and my kids, and now this. It may seem like a lot on my plate. l have a post called “wearing different hats (not literally)” post in the pipeline about how coping mechanisms when you have to wear so many different hats in one day. What can l say l love to be busy and on the go.

20180919_141837820318904271325994.jpg

And here is my solutions mind mapping.

20180919_141819847298555684091792.jpg

It is always important to include a solutions map, even if you can’t visibly see any solutions in the near future. Concentrate on solutions you can see. As you can see my solutions are basic and involve holistic approach to the way l was feeling.

I have a co – worker who is dealing with employment issues, she is weighing up leaving her job that she loves with low hours of work for other employment opportunities with higher hours in a profession she dislikes. She went home and tried it and now she is up skilling for better prospects in her current industry.

As you can see my maps are rough and look nothing like others journals worthy of a instagram post and that is ok, l am ok with that. If you can create one of those instagram worth posts thats fantastic.

Have you ever tried brain dumping or mind mapping? If so how has it worked for you. If you haven’t tried it, l highly recommend it, you may be pleasantly surprised how much you internalise. Go grab a piece of paper or your journal and brain dump away.

Until next time

Positiveshores xx

art business close up decor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

What Motivates you?

Are you stuck in a dead end job? Are you tired of your boss not appreciating your work? What is the incentive to get up every day to join the mass commuters enrolee to their jobs, when you don’t even like working there? Is it family commitments that keep you going back day after day? Is it a job you got straight out of university and feel stuck as you don’t know anything else? Is it a job you have had for 10+ years and feel secure, afraid of up skilling or afraid of failure? These are the hard honest questions you must ask yourself.

Honestly money and family commitments are a big factor in staying in your current position. Have you thought about happiness? Does your job bring you joy? Does if make you feel content? Does your job make you feel like you are making a difference? Or does it feel you are on autopilot day after day? Or have you started a project, side hustle that is your true passion and are lacking in the motivation to continue as you feel it is not going well or taken off as fast as you would of hoped. Never give up on that passion and dream of yours, and remember why you started in the first place. I have started and then neglected my passion many times in the past. From not feeling qualified enough to feeling not good enough, l have felt all of if, you are not alone. My advice if you have a passion, dream, hobby dive in head first, immerse yourself in that world, find out the everything there is to do with your chosen field and go for it, if it successful first off great!If not don’t get discouraged, there is no failures in life just life lessons.

Motivation.jpg

I was working in a new job a few years back and l was unhappy, it was a new establishment so of course there as teething problems, this l can handle, however, the boss would text you at 10pm the night before to say you were working as she did not believe in rosters, she would complain about opening the business and wished she hadn’t and she missed her old business as everyone knew there roles and knew what they were doing (needless to say there was no training, it was a case of pointing from the other side of the room and we had to fill in the gaps). Needless to say l asked myself those hard questions, l was in a profession l was loosing passion for and the money was not worth the constant stress and anxiety of if l was working or not.

Once l answered those questions honestly and openly with myself the decision to leave was all the more easier. l am now in a profession that although is sometimes stressful l am happier, my kids are happier as their mother is not a ball of stress and has quality time to spend with them.

Until next time

Positiveshores xx

art business close up decor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

what’s your passion?

Finding your passion in life is not easy, in high school l thought l had it figured out (like most 18 year olds), my friends and l were going to travel all across Europe tasting all the worldly coffee we could, l was going to come home and go off to university away from my parents and l was going to change the hospitality world, as you can imagine that never eventuated. 2 of us became young mums and 1 went on to have a great career in fashion. My passion in life is mentoring people in finding their own passions, setting and achieving their personal goals and watching them succeed in what ever they choose.

How l came to find this passion in a round-a-bout way. l was in my final semester at university studying a bachelors degree with the hopes of one day becoming a forensic Anthropologist (big dream right), and l was looking for something meaningful to give back to the community when there was a volunteers expo advertised. I applied for a few positions, within weeks l got a call to see if l was interested in becoming a youth mentor (clearly nothing to do with being a forensic anthropologist), l attended training and the whole time l was thinking l don’t want to work with youths. i was then assigned a mentee who was at risk of disengaging from school and the community. what l had envisioned l was to be getting and what was presented before me were to different things. I was told she was constantly in physical altercations with other students, suspended every other week, rarely attending school. I saw a shy, misunderstood child who was 1 of 8 (yes 8) children. That was 3 years ago, she is no longer being suspended although still has her impulse moments as all 10 year olds do, she has found a hobby she is passionate about. We set goals for the year and then break them down into terms and further again into weekly goals.

goal setting
image via Pat Flynn via http://www.smartpassiveincome.com

Since meeting my mentee l have graduated from university, attended countless workshops on various topics regards youths, obtained a youth mental first aid certificate, l gained employment as a teacher’s aide. Finally at the ripe age of 35 l have found my passion and calling in life. It has been a long and sometimes journey with many forks in the road.

How have you found your passion? If you have not found it yet don’t be discouraged or give up it will happen when you least expect it or ask yourself some hard honest questions such as does this bring me joy? Can l envision myself in this position in the future? What do l have to do to make my passion a reality not just a hobby?

Make a list of all the hobbies you have or have had in the past in a journal or a piece of paper what is handy. What currently brings you the most joy. Now re write this list in order of how much joy they bring.

Until next time

Positiveshores xx

art business close up decor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

The Journey Begins

welcome

Thanks for joining me!

Have you had bouts of depression, down days, not felt good enough after giving your all? You’re not alone. This blog will always be welcoming to anyone and everyone who wants a lift, to feel special, loved and accepted. This is a safe space for positive affirmations and support to learn and gain knowledge.

Firstly l would like to welcome you to my very first ever blog (not counting the compulsory blog l had to keep in University), this has been a long term goal of mine to start a blog as l love writing so this feel like a natural progression for me.

This blog and my words are not to be taken as gospel, this blog is more about what worked for me in the past and how l try to implement these with my mentees and students, to help them deal with the pressures of life (kids hear and see more than adults thing and burden themselves in silence).